Becoming Grandma: The Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting by Lesley Stahl
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Just finished Lesley Stahl's BECOMING GRANDMA. She offers some profound and some "fluffy" thoughts about the institution. At its best, the book is heart-felt, compassionate, anecdotal and filled with a poignant reality: a grandchild gets under your skin much more deeply than a child, since you are freed up from the every day maintenance and just free to love. She discusses the fact that her husband's Parkinson's disease subsided, somewhat, because of the sustained love for his two granddaughters. This quote really stayed with me: "I bring these girls inside the ropes of my private space, up against my heart, and hold on. It's a fleshy loving that's not sexual, and it feels so damn good." It is how I feel about my little Ella; I love her smells, her essence.

On the flip side, I felt Stahl's perspective was so privileged. She talked about grandparents dropping their lives for their grandchildren. Even though she has been a 60 Minutes correspondent for years, she has done a lot of juggling because these two little girls are so central to her life. What she does not realize is her life is a privileged one, and for some grandparents who drop everything, it is necessity. The other day, at my friend's wedding, her eight month old grandniece was present. Why? Her niece can not afford a sitter. That is the baby reality, and often grandparents are sitting because their children do not have those extra dollars to pay for a sitter. Grandparents sit out of love, but also, sometimes, out of economic necessity. Lesley Stahl's daughter is lucky; it seems she and her husband have reaped the rewards of having very rich and available grandparents. Not always the case for so many children, grandchildren or grandparents!

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