Going to College: A Message to Lilli

My cousin's daughter just got into college. She actually got into many colleges, but is happily going to the University of Florida in Gainesville, the top state university. I am so happy for her, and so happy for her family, too. She is bright and now she is being launched. That is what is what is most exciting about going away to school. You go in one way, and sometimes you emerge quite another way, since that is the ideal of a university education: to awaken you to who you are. I am quite certain Lilli will graduate the same happy and sweet young woman she is, but other things may change. A university is a place where you discover yourself, and who that self is depends a lot on how open you are to transformation. By that I mean it is a breeding ground for ideas. You are educated not just in your course major, but with an open attitude you are exposed to many ideas, many ways of life, many theories, numerous types of people, and this can challenge our deep-seated impressions of ourselves. It can also shape who we want to become-distinct and separate from our parents-and that is a GOOD thing. Take my daughter Samantha, for example. She went to college prepared to be a doctor. She was always invested in good causes, but this was among one of many things that she was interested in. She came out of college no longer interested in being a doctor, but deeply committed to good causes, to changing the world, with a focus no on what she could acquire for herself, but in how she could help others. She quickly left corporate law, took a job at Human Rights Watch and is now in law school, with a focus on social action and change. She is engaged and passionate in a way that I am still, but much more deeply, and with very specific causes.

In other words, she is now an adult, a person who has found herself-and her journey is over. That is the dream of college-to discover a path which gives your life meaning and purpose and joy. It is becoming an adult in the best possible way, since it is yours-not your friends, not your parents, not anyone else in your family, but yours-and you have the privilege of having learned what it is that makes  you tick. My hope for Lilli is she fines that tick and that tock and that passion, since that is what will take her through the rest of her life.

Good luck, Lilli. So many people are proud of you as this great journey begins.

Being a Teacher: EMPATHY

I realize, every time I resume  my new semester, I approach it with fear and excitement. The fear is knowing how my relaxed post-summer life will change-the papers, working on the weekends, the stress. The excitement is the new batch of students-they may frustrate me, but the challenge inspires me, too. Some of those challenges have little to do with educating a student; they have more to do about empathy and helping the students (when you can) overcome their psychological hurdles. This week, the first week back after winter break, the tears already started flowing. The first one was when I asked for the last four digits of the students social security numbers, as I always do the first day. A few students said they forgot it and then their dilemma flashed in front of me. They are DACA students, Dreamers, and they have been told by their parents not to give out any information. I told them how in their school they are safe; we have lawyers who will protect them and everyone at City College is on their side. I told them how part of being a university professor is taking care of all out students; in my classroom they would always be protected. We do not allow ICE agents into our school, as advised by our new college president. A few of them started crying, and others cheered.

The second incident involved a young, brilliant, beautiful girl (a transfer from Swathmore College), who had a full-blown anxiety at the end of class. I closed the door; hugged her and managed to talk her down from her fears. Of course I did the professional thing, too, which was to ask if she had a therapist, which she did. I suggested she might discuss this incident with her therapist, and possibly contemplate medication, which she had though of. She thanked me profusely and my response was, "It is my job." If you are contemplating becoming an educator and you do not know how to be empathetic, how to take care of people, the job is not for you!