Growing Up Without Money

There is nothing romantic about growing up without money. You want what other people have-and you can not have it. You want to travel the world, and the best you can hope for-if you live in NYC-is your grandmother's rental in the Rockaways-or perhaps another borough. You are sick of wearing imitations; it would be nice, for once, to have the real thing.

And yet....

I think about what my children and their children are missing. I recall living with my Aunt Lil in the projects, where I shared a one bedroom apartment with my cousins Donna and Ricky. Our youthful entertainment was not gadgetry, since there was none, but stories and invention and imagination. I recall laughing so much, and I also remember not missing anything. Certainly I missed having a  "normal" family, but my Mom had issues and my Dad worked hard, so I lived with my cousins for awhile. And the thing is, I lacked for nothing-what really matters.

Now that I am an adult, I have come to see how much things depend on what money can buy, and sometimes-particularly for younger people-it is never enough, and I feel nostalgic for the days when whatever I got-however small-was sufficient. I am aware that I can not turn back the clocks, nor do I want my grown children to lack for anything, yet I can see the merits of something they will never have. They will never quite know what it is like to step into the shoes of another. It does not mean they are not kind and do not have good values; they do. But they have grown up in abundance, so they can not imagine losing it, as I can, or feeling there by the grace of God-that what you have today can be gone tomorrow. The lack of material wealth growing up gave me something else, something I would not trade in for anything in the world; it gave me character. I am not always comfortable with what I have, though I would never trade it in. And sometimes I think, if I were to lose it all tomorrow and I still had what really matters-love, companionship, emotional fulfillment, what else matters. And all these extras-just surplus, which I have grown accustomed to, but really, truly do not need.