A Divided America

 Clearly, this country is so divided that East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet. I am quite certain if politics were left out of the conversation, we could chat amicably about our lives and the things we love. My husband plays cards in an atomosphere where half of the people voted one way, and the other half another way. The night is just about the card game, nothing more, and they can kibbutz and have fun. However, this division sometimes comes into play-rarely, only when someone dares to bring up a wild conspiracy theory that the 2020 election was stolen and the response is, "No it was not." Then everything stops.

This is what I know about the other side. Some voted because they like disruption; they don't want conventional political leaders. It does not matter that he has selected cabinet officers with little to no experience; hence, they don't trust government, and some of this is true. They also say that prices have gone up--they have, not realizing in recent months not only have prices gone down, but the economy is doing way better in terms of jobs filled, gas prices lowered and a stock market boom. But they don't watch the same news that I do. They watch Fox, deemed, worldwide, entertainment, not news; plus, they have been sued millions for all the alternate facts they have created. Alternate facts don't bother the other side, so they tune into social media to get their news. Elon Musk invested millions to feed the Trump campaign and did so strategically; feeding the two sides of the Israeli conflict different information, so each side would feel placated. He fed into the image of a "Woke" other side, depite the fact that Kamala's campaign did not dwell on some of these issues. This created an empire who felt the fabric of their communities was being destroyed--the books their children read; gender idenity; immigrants who were all taking over their jobs, forgetting we are all immigrants. Women (53 per cent of White women) fell into the trap,"Women, I will protect you." It did not matter that his running mate was so clueless as to suggest all grandma(s) could care for their grandchildren; women without children were "childless cat ladies." It did not matter that Trump is an alleged serial sex offender. It did not matter that he insulted women based on their looks. It did not matter that he said Hatian immigrants were "eating the dogs and cats." Nothing mattered but the macho and bluster he presented, but people liked the performance. It worked. He won over people in this election. It became a them and us in their world view.

There was no them and us on the other side. We are all a nation of immigrants, human beings, and ones who want to work across the political divide. The other side read newspapers and followed stations such as CNN, which reported news, which meant mostly facts. This side created a campaign that we are all Americans and we need to curb our guns, we need to aim for truth, we need to believe in science, people who stormed the capital were not patriots, women need to have their reproductive rights, health and safety need to be safeguarded, children need CHIPS and school lunches to eat, and you can't do away with a DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION because if each state does what it wants, all that red in the middle will be using the bible as a text, won't use texts that have even an iota of FACTS in them, will ban books in the classroom, won't allow the very diverse voices of America, including religious freedom (no, we are not just White, Christian Americans), won't allow marriages of Gay people, nor will it allow them to adopt the surplus of babies now that abortion will mostly be illegal. Also, social security and medicare are not entitlements; I paid into them my whole life. "We are not going backwards," was the mantra of the campaign on this political side.

But indeed we are going backwards; pity the children and grandchildren of the next generation, one where the military is coming to take migrant children away from their parents, even those who have lived here their whole life. They voted in a man without morals, scruples or character, and if they are poor and suffering, if they are women,  if their health insurance is taken away, he has nothing on his agenda that will help them. This divide will grow and like Jesus said, "forgive them father, for they know not what they have done." If the humanity and decency gap grows larger, which it already has during this campaign, I am not so sure I will forgive them; it might be too hard. He consistently showed what he was about--a charlatan, at best--and more. And they voted for him anyway.

No Man is an Island

      "Can you be happy when you see the horror unleashed on other people?" my friend asked me the other day.

        "Of course not!"

        "So what do we do?"

        "I don't know."

        I wish there was an answer. During these times, I think a great deal about my emotional well-being as we forge ahead to the new adminstration in 2025. It does not look good, just based on cabinet choices and alleged policy decisions he has made so far. Mike Johnson may say, "the popular vote indicates the people wanted to shake things up." Did they? Wait! When they lose some precious rights, what will they say then? And what about a basic moral code? How can one think of himself or herself as a moral person when the "other" is brought down--Trump's campaign mantra. "I am searching out the enemy within."

        I return to John Donne's poem,  "No Man Is an Island.":

                        No man is an island,

                        Entire of itself;

                        Every man is a piece of a continent,

                        A part of the main.

                        If a clod be washed away by the sea,

                        Europe is the less,

                        As well as if a promontory were:

                        As well as if a manor of thy friend's

                        Or of thine own were.

                        Any man's death diminshes me,

                        Because I am involved in mankind.

                        And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls

                        It tolls for thee."

       I know we have a broken immigration system. I know the world is filled with dissenters. But to imprison your enemies, deport millions of decent people, separate families is no solution. To be crass and crude in your humanity is among the worst sins. I remember proudly singing in elementary school a version of Donne's poem, "No man is an island/no man stands alone./Each man's joy is joy to me/each man's grief is my own./We need one another/so I will defend/each man as my brother/each man as my friend."

Yes, indeed, I will find a way out of the despair in the inhumanity that awaits, and I will defend, whatever way I can, my brothers and my friends, since this is what is means to be humane and decent. Isn't this what we all learned we should do early on?  THE BELL TOLLS FOR THEE--just remember!

    

Conclave, the movie

 In my desire to depart from politics, I am going to recommend a MUST SEE movie.The film's focus is on the papacy and the need to find a new pope after the demise of the current one, who apparently was a good, even great one. He had an extraordinary amount of  humanity, and was not trapped by the pettiness and politics of the papacy; in fact, quite the opposite. He was open to the changes in society, and moved forward "outside the box:" without corruption. In other words, he was decent and moral.

With an amazing cast, including Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow and Isabella Rossellini, it expores the undercurrent of politics in the papacy, including the fact that there is a right and left wing in the selection of the newest pope. Cardinal Thomas Lawrence (Fiennes), investigates the secrets and scandals of each candidate, as the college of cardinals gather in seclusion for a papal conclave to choose a new cardinal.

Did I say this was not political? I suppose I am wrong, since in exposing the treachery and lies of religious figures, what is startling is a real similarity in the way politics and religion are marriage partners  in distorting truths and the norms of decency. I don't want to give away what happens, but suffice it to say I weeped at the end, perhaps in a good way, but I can't share--or you won't bother seeing this wonderful movie, one with strong convictions.

Dear Kamala and Tim

 Now that the Democratic party has lost everything, I want to write a letter to you to let you know what a terrific campaign you ran in just a few months. It never, for a second, relied on insults and derision. You did point out truths about the other candidate, but they were undeniable. He said what he said that was dark, ugly and dishonest, but clearly it meant nothing to so many people.  At your rallies, people cheered with joy and happiness; I was one of them, cheering as I watched on television. You shouted, "We are not going back," a wonderful mantra, which I and half the country had hoped for. You gave new meaning to the flag; you made me feel patriotic. It was not your fault that the messaging of Joe Biden's adminstration was not loud enough. In fact, he did more for working people, and at the end of the day has done so much for the country. It was a challenge to separate yourself as an individual from a president you admired, as did many of us. Yes, he should have resigned earlier; this would have given us an open convention and maybe you would have been the candidate anyway, Kamala, but perhaps people would have felt it was a fairer process. But that didn't happen, so you had three months to define yourself-- clearly not enough time. But in that short time, you and Coach Walz filled the hearts of so many people with a vision of a brighter future where we were all working together. There are so many reasons the strong man won, least of all wonderful qualifications. I know race and gender was one of them. It is sad in 2024 that these things matter at all, but this is America. They can now have their guns and their derision and whatever else they think they can get. Billionaires and millionaires can now get taxed at a lower rate. The ACA may go, and there is only a concept of a plan to replace it. Already his potential cabinet is filled with wholly unqualified people. For my personal sanity, I will cherish the memory of a different world, and only look ahead to 2026 to have decency return to the political landscape. This is no fault of yours, Kamala and Tim; you did a wonderful job. I wish people had awakened to the possibility of a brighter tomorrow instead of what the future holds in store for us, and it is not good!

My daughter, son-in-law and baby on the campaign trail for the two of you!

More on Joy

 In Margaret Renkl's wonderful editorial in the November 13th NYT she states," there is no cure for grief, but beauty and tenderness can walk alongside it." This really struck a chord last night when we discussed, at dinner before the theater, what do we do about all this grief as we catch the government flip over on  its axis? My friend's husband, whom we adore, even went so far as to say," I don't want to talk about politics." I get that. We are all in our "golden years" and the erosion of all our norms is terrifying. Many of us, me among them, are talking about politics too much.It is easy to say, this will not effect me, but it does and it will. How do you remain "happy" when people you know, some of whom are model citizens, are taken out of this country? Why do you think you are safe in your financial cocoon, when, perhaps, your medicare may be taken away and a non-scientist holds the cabinet position of health and human services, and one who is  ill-equipped to handle the next possible pandemic or oversee the numerous agencies under his jurisdiction.

I think the response is, you don't deny the grief, nor do you dwell on it 24/7, as I know I have done. There are no easy answers, nor is there the "proper" way to grieve--tears, anger, militant actions, denialism. Renkl says there is no cure, but to not allow the "braying winners to turn us into impotent shadows with stones forever lodged in our throats would be to let them win even more surely than they won at the ballot box last week."

What she says is we need to tap into joy, whatever that may be; we need to give ourselves a respite. I spent weekend last week with two of our grandchildren, going to the Museum of Natural History with our grandson and the theater with our grandaughter. They are warm and funny and filled me and my husband with great pleasure. I taught a pre-k class of poetry in my cousin's class, and the children were so charming and deligthful that I felt the sheer pleasure of the experience.  Our youngest grandson is starting to gaze at the world with his beautiful open eyes.

Renkl goes on to tell us that "For me, there will be more watchful stillness. More walks in the woods to watch the still heron standing one-legged in the shallows; to watch the still deer; waiting to see that I do them no harm; to linger in the stillness of the lake itself, a perfect mirror giving back to the sky." What Renkl wants, which is what I supopose we all want, "is to remind myself again and again not to wait for the world to give me a reason to sigh with relief. I will give myself respite. I will remember not to keep waiting for sweetness and rest to arrive on their own."

As my friend said last night, "How do I keep myself --all of us--from calcifying during this time of grief and the stress that goes with it?" I suppose we allow all the feelings to invade us at once. We hug the family and friends we love, and take in the JOY and SWEETNESS of having them in our lives to hug. This is surely not a solution, but it does offer a small moment of grace, which in itself is something. Beauty, tenderness and grief can all live inside of us, as well as the blessings we have in one another.

Dismantle, Destroy and Joy

 When I woke up this morning to the news that RFK Jr. was to be given the position as the head of health and human services, I exclaimed, in disbelief.

        "Seriously??"

        "Did you really expect him to nominate anyone good to his cabinet? He thrives on chaos," said my husband. He added, as a physician, he is personally offended to have a man who disbelieves in science to be at the helm of this agency

        "Not really, but I DID expect some level of thoughfulness. At least an iota."

This week has brought such insanity to the selection of people to head up important, federal agencies. It is probably the most unqualified group of individuals to be in a presidential cabinet in history, with the likes of Matt Gaetz as the head of the Justice Department; Pete Hegseth, a former Fox News Host, as the Defense Secretary; Tulsi Gabbard, famed Putin-lover for Director of National Intelligence; and the likes of Elon Musk; Vivek Ramaswamy; the list of Trump-cronies who will be loyal to him is astounding. What is terrifying is their lack of skill and their inability to do their jobs effectively puts our country at great risk.

            "Maybe they won't be confirmed," I sighed.

            "Ha," my husband laughed. "Teflon Don gets everything he wants. They are kow-towing to him for fear of excommunication. He said on the campaign trail he would punish his enemies, so they will confirm during recesses and avoid consent and approval by the senate. He is now the king. He makes the law."

        "But it does not make sense. This will destroy the government."

        "Exactly. "Dismantle and destroy the administrative state as he outlined repeatedly during his campaign."

        "For what purpose?"

        " To demonstrate he is the ONE in power, and all government is all but irrelevant --aside from him."

            "So many people will suffer."

            "And maybe," he said, "this will give pause when they think of the man they voted in."

DISMANTLE AND DESTROY.  He is right. But how do I and others like me make it through the next few years as I watch a government caricature of a real government? How do I keep my faith? How do I support my good friends and loved ones who feel as I do, somewhat hopeless? And who are the people who understood what he was and voted for him anyway? I am so disappointed in this electorate, this country.

My husband says we will fight when we are able to, and find joy where and when we can, in those small moments of grace. I have already zoomed in on my friends and family, like-minded people, already befuddled and searching how to make sense of this election. I don't want him taking up the same space he did since 2016, when each crime he committed seemed like he would surely be nailed, and the coffin would be shut. Now, I know he can walk away freely from anything and for whatever insane reason, people vote for him and love his blatant disregard of norms. The nastier he is, the more they cheer. For Vance, too, who during his campaign week dared to call Kamala "garbage."

To exorcise Donald Trump from my head space, I will focus on my children, my grandchildren, my friends.  But I will also do the things I love, which give meaning to my life. Just this morning I taught poetry to a class of three- and four-year-olds in my cousin Jackie's class. I had two City College poetry mentors shadow me, Miguel and Mateo (Frida), both of whom energized the room. I asked Miguel to pretend to be a dog, while I read dog poems. The children were so excited to write a group poem. It filled me with joy. It also reminded me, I can try harder to find the positive anchors in my life, which give me happiness and meaning--and I will.

JOY I will create, and when the time is ripe, for the sake of our future generations of lovely, smiling children, I will FIGHT to bring back the kind of world these childen and all our children and grandchildren deserve.

        

            

Anti-Semitism

 Just the other day, a theatrical version of Anne Frank was performed in Michigan. Outside of the theater, a group of people were waving Nazi flags--and no one took them down. This has now become a norm in America, and around the world. People have taken to painting Jewish stars on people's homes in France. In Amsterdam a bunch of people terrorized Israeli soccer fans in droves. As Brent Stephens says in his editorial on 11/13, "It wasn't merely just overflowing anger over the war in Gaza. It was something altogether darker." On a popular app, people were using the term "Jew hunt." In an Oslo station it read, "Hitler started it. We will finish it."

For anyone who has family who perished in the Holocaust, to anyone who was raised with the good values of tikkin olam--actions intended to improve the world-- (which is why I know all but the right wing Jews voted for Kamala, since they  are into repairing the world, not destroying it); to anyone who has reached out to humanity at large, many Jewish people--like myself--were raised with integrity, to a revulsion for what is ugly and vile; hence, read between the lines: Trump used awful antisemitic tropes in his speeches. So, as Stephens says," they are like generations of programists before them--out to get the Jews. Antisemitism in Europe has "now reached the point where the future of many of its Jewish communities is seriously in doubt. They want countries "free of Jews." Isn't that what White Nationalism is partly about? "Jews will not replace us," was chanted on the streets of Charlottesville, Virginia in 2017--during Trump's first presidency. And his response,"There were good people on both sides."

No. This is not a situation of duality. Antisemitism is never good. I ordinarily do not agree with Stephens, who I sometimes find too conservative, but now there is a warning if we don't pay attention as Americans. "If we stay on this path, the Jew hunt of Amsterdam may be upon us, too, and sonner than we think." Sadly, it already is.