Pushing the Envelope

The other day I came home from babysitting and proceeded to talk to my husband, Ira, about some memories I had from when I was young. Some of these were stories my father told me, since how could I possibly remember when I was two. These stories were so relevant, since I was the toddler who was friendly, outgoing, loved to sing and dance and was told I was very funny. I see these same qualities in Ella; she always makes me laugh. And she loves when I sing, the only one in my family who does, since I can no longer sing well. And when I sing, she dances. I was also told, I was not always a great rule follower, though I was a "good girl", a quality I also see in Ella. Interestingly, I lost some of those qualities when I was growing up, but they have returned as an "older" adult, simply because I am less afraid of being myself, and I am that outgoing, somewhat fearless, somewhat kooky little girl-grown up. I am hoping Ella continues to be who she is, and the world does not diminish her fearlessness and individuality; it is such a wonderful quality. My guess is she might be able to maintain her individuality for a very long time, perhaps forever, since she is a very loved child. I, too, was loved, but my family circumstances were NOT good growing up, so I had to keep my personality under wrap much more. Nevertheless, I still recall trying out for Bye, Bye Birdie in middle school, belting out the song and thinking I would get the lead, which I did not. I also recall being wait-listed for Binghamton in college, and sending them the portfolio of my writing, insisting they should take me off of the wait list, since I had talent as a writer. It worked! I am not saying it always works to push the envelope, but sometimes it does, and what is important is to feel free up enough to be yourself.

I am myself again, now that I am sixty. Ella, always to thine own self be true, since what you have is truly remarkable. And you are so loved by your parents and everyone else who comes in contact with you! Lucky little girl and lucky for the people around you!