Do the Right Thing

What is the right thing? There is no objective way to define this; it is always what is right for you. But I have been thinking about this a lot lately in my observation of people. Everyone is quite at ease when things are simple. If you are fine, it is quite easy to ask "How are you?"But what about when you are not fine? What about if there is a terrible loss in your life. Isn't it more important-at this point-to ask? in my mind it is is more important. It is about common decency. And I am going to take a leap-there is something WRONG if you do not ask. I am going to take a bigger leap-it is quite indecent not to hold out a generous hand in a time of loss and grief.

I speak from experience. When I lost my Dad, when my friends knew I had a terrible fight with my Dad and how bereft I was when he had a heart-attack, there were friends right at my side. Yet, there were others, particularly when I went back to school(I was 16) who never asked, and pretended I was the same person; I wasn't. I was morbid, filled with grief, bereft. This did not mean I did not want to talk about it. In fact, talking helped ease the pain-just a tad.

I grew up motherless, in many ways; I mothered myself. And in this unusual state of being, I always knew how to help people, how to reach out, how to discuss emotional pain, how to be a friend and a good family member. And frankly, if you do not know how to do that as an adult, shame on you! There is a right and a wrong, and I will always choose to align myself with people who know how to do the right thing. And the older I get, the more I discover so many people just do not know how to be thoughtful and sensitive; in other words, a mensch! And that is something they will have to live with, but I do not need to accept.