The Sorrows and Joys of Getting Older

     "What is good about getting older?" a beloved family member asked at Thanksgiving.

        "I could say, NOT MUCH, since there are so many things, not good, but there are some rewards in turning seventy and retiring.

        "What are they?" She was clearly puzzled. I, too, was puzzled by my response, since I have been feeling somewhat down since the election, thinking this political landscape is NOT the life I wanted to have during my twilight years. My moral compass has only grown stronger with age, so 2025 America is a far cry from a decent world I take pride in. I find the cabinet choices alone to be reprehensible. My God, even Pete Hegseth's mother wrote a piece published in the TIMES in 2018, where she accused her son of mistreating women for years. She said, "he was an abuser of women." In my world he could not hold ANY position in any capacity. Yet, my guess is many members of Congress will not care, so I will have to simply sit on my sorrow.

The sorrow goes deeper. My body can not do what it used to do in so many ways. Head-stands are out in yoga, but so much else is out too, including very active aerobics. I don't swim as many miles as I used to, since I can't. I used to never take public transportation, since I walked everywhere. Now I often take the bus or the subway. My knee and my hip hurt. Plus, even as I am writing this, it is Saturday afternoon, and I feel really tired. I slept well last night, which is often NOT the case for me now as a senior. Adding insult to injury, I am now totally gray-haired, by choice, so when people look at me they see an older woman. I am!

But here is the good part, too. I accept my limitations like I never did before. I push myself, but not too hard, and that is a good thing. I have gotten off the treadmill and I no longer want to get back on it. I appreciate the leisure of a planless day like I never did before. I still exercise, I still write and read, enjoy culture and am inspired to take political action, but I do so at my own pace, no one else's. I don't want to be anyone else but myself, and though my life is not perfect, I am free to be me. That same freedom means I will call you out if you disrespect me, if I don't appreciate what you are doing or saying. There is no one I am afraid of, no one I will kow-tow to. If you don't like me as a result, that is okay, too. Not everyone appreciates this style, and that is fine, which does not mean I won't make sacrifices, especially with my immediate family, particularly my grandchildren, since it takes a village and I want to be part of that village. I have learned to keep quiet and when to use my voice. Plus, at this point in my life, I need not be friends with people I feel little in common with, though I never mind challenges or differences. I am not going to be connected, ever again, out of obligation, since what I really value now is authenticity, even if your authentic is not mine.

I would like to grow old with peace and serentiy, and sometimes that will not be possible, since friction and tumult and the unexpected are always on the horizon, like this past election, which I did not prepare psychologically for in any way.  And there are health issues, too. So, as I grow older with my wrinkled face and gray hair and flab on my stomach, I have to be cognizant--even more so--of the little control I have to map the future. I will do, what I can, to make it the best possible one, and try to ride the waves of sorrow that sometimes might make their way onto my map. But the map will always be mine, so I am prepared for the sorrow and jubilation of the journey.

        

Levi

 He is new to our world, little Levi Nat, and he had his first Thanksgiving, 2024, with aplomb!

Levi, four months old, gets his own poem.

Levi

Little Levi-

lovely

smiles sunshine

kicks legs and hands

in joyful celebration;

he is 

a baby blessed

in blankets of love,

may he grow

into the world

with bountiful beauty

that he will make

even

if it isn't there.

He and his cousins, Ella and Jake, are our future!

The Composition, for Ella's Tenth Birthday!

 Ella is a force of fury-psssionate, loving, kind. I have watched her since she was a little baby, so I have watched her grow. And so, I celebrate the joy of knowing such a special little girl with this ghazal:

The Composition, For Ella, Age Ten

Ella plays the violin

music in the wind

laughter plucks the strings of joy

music in the wind

sometimes sorrow sings a dirge

music cries the wind

the notes don't know where to go

music cries the wind

but then a smile, the highest scale

music blasts the wind

laughter louder than a whale

music fast in wind

the happiest of compositions

her music makes the wind.

Trick or treat, but she is always a treat!

Jake and Ira, a poem

 You already saw the picture of Ira, "pop-pop" Reiser. He and Jake have a very special relationship. Here is a poem for these two guys:

                                            American Dream Amusement Park

The ferris wheel

never stops circling

when Ira and Jake

sit inside;

like another planet

whirling up and down

around the sunl

these two boys:

seven and seventy

Jake and Ira

live in the orbit

of love and laughter

in a galaxy

uniquely

their own.

Ira

 He is my my friend, my husband, the wonderful father to my children. We have been married for forty-six years, and I have grown to admire him more each day, as I come to deeply understand his kindness and compassion. My joke is he should be made the director of Health and Human Services in the new adminstration because he would consistently help and never harm people. The joke is he would never be asked, nor would he ever work for such a corrupt adminstration. He has an extraordinarily strong moral compass and integrity.

     HERE IS MY POEM FOR IRA: View from the Bridge, Eastside Manhattan, 36th Floor

The bridge

of kindness

you've built

with patients

even when there's no money

to pay you;

the water

too cold to swim in

(you never swim in cold water)

but in June

you plunged

in the pool

since your six-year old grandson

was waiting

for his Pop-pop;

Pop-pop

one of the words Jake speaks

said loud and clear

as does nine year old Ella.

Pop-pop

a prayer

a psalm

to the small building

surrounded by many toweing ones--

the man

you may notice,

but brick by brick

tile by tile

has given us a fortress

(we, his family),

so the bridge may fall

the river may flood

fears may ferment

from a world

we never expected to turn so ugly,

but Ira

is there

and nothing else matters

                                                

Giving Out Food

 Today Ira and I volunteered at a soup kitchen for the breakfast shift 6-7:30. Usually there are, perhaps, 120 people, but today, thanksgiving week, there were one hundred and eighty-nine people. I had to over-step a psychological hurdle looking at the line. When political rhetoric established the duality of "them" and "us", I invite those politicians to join any line where food is being distributed and obseve how many people looked like me and Ira, but because of food scarcity, must get meals elsewhere. It made me weep inside, since I shudder to imagine what will happen in 2025 when the new adminstration takes over and Musk and Ramaswamy execute their plan to cut, cut, cut. There is already talk of cuts to many social networks, including CHIPS, medicaid and medicare. My friend said school lunches might be cut. What will children do who can't get fed? Feeding the stomach helps to feed the mind; the mind can't function without the necessary sustenance.

For today, my only focus is on tzedukah. My friend said the only way to transcend this "brave new world" is to do good where you can, with a few pet causes. Indeed, this will be one of mine with Ira by my side.We will feed the poor, the hungry, those people who fell off the grid--if only for a short while."The highest form of wisdom is kindness," according to the Talmud,

I invite you to be as kind as you can be, and as smart, and with compassion in your heart recognize without migrants to farm the land and without social services, that the streets will be flooded with physical and psychological hunger. When you give thanks this thanksgiving, feel free to be blessed with what you have, but remember, even those who worked hard and came here for the sake of their children, as your families once did, that there are too many people walking around who will have to snake around in long lines for the possibility of one meal to sustain them. Please bless them, too!

Happy Thanksgiving

To one and all! This is the time to count my blessings, which is what I will do. I say this during what is a challenging time, since as a senior blogger, this is not the world I imagined, seen through the lens of HIS vision of darkness, and those people and institutions he and his team have decided are irrelevant. They are relevant to me, so I am blessed to be a woman with strong convictions, married to a man who has equally strong convictions. We are both figuring out how to negotiate this landscape, and what we will do.

I am lucky to have friends and family, like-minded people, who understand this quagmire, so I need not explain why I am feeling the joy of the season, but some sorrow, too. They feel it. As my friends have said, "One can't live in a bubble."

I am glad and feel blessed to know I am not alone in wanting a better world, where health, safety, education, compassion, empathy and humanity are paramount. I am appreciative that we--my friends-- share so many values, and are honest and authentic in the way we appraoch the world. We strongly believe in separation of Church and State. We don't believe that lying and hyperbole is any way to run a country.  Another friend said, "You can't change the ugly choices that this adminstration has made, but you can work on one or two pet causes, and do whatever you can do." I will and will do so with my husband by my side.

I revel in my children and grandchildren, their choices in partners, the children they are raising, the times we celebrate together. Thus, I celebrate today with Amanda's folks and the delcious food I know Amanda and Craig will prepare, and when we fill out our piece of paper, "What are you thankful for?" my answer will be "For all of this! For all of you!" This includes the ability to try to make what is not good better.

My Three Munchkins

No, they are not munchkins, but they are out of this world special, each in his or her own way. They are my remarkable grandchildren.

Ella is number one, as in the first one born, and now, the only girl. Each time she sees me, she runs into my arms as if she has not seen me in years. She is wildly passionate, creative, warm and funny. Sometimes she seems wise beyond her years, and other times she is just a young girl. She always makes me laugh, in her stories and the way she looks at the world. She loves gymnastics and can spiral into a move in the middle of a conversation. She loves her beauty creams, but also reminds me, "to take care of saving an animal from extinction" when it is time to celebrate her birthday. She fills me with joy.

Jake, too, fills me with joy as the number two grandchild, and the first grandson. Though he is non-verbal, he has his own ways of communicating--wth his hands, his eyes, his board and his body. He, too, is funny, and makes me laugh because he has a terrific sense of humor. He loves when I read to him, and can listen to ten books at a time--too many for me, at times. He loves music and loves to dance to music, and is good at it. He has a special relationship with his "pop-pop," what he calls Ira. Jake is fearless, and when he goes on the rides with Ira, I feel like I am star-gazing at an extraordinary relationship.

Then there is little Levi, Samantha and Josh's four-month-old, the newest member of our tribe. He gazes at the world with wide-open eyes. When he is on his back, he kicks his legs in delight. Though he is so little, he, too, seems to love books and music and engaging with people. The word which comes to mind is delicous. I am eager to see what he will become.

I am blessed to have all three in my life. When I feel the darkness of these times fill my brain, I try to replace the negativity with the positivity of their special smiles, and I am reminded of all that is good, and why I should work extra hard to make this world one I would like to see them grow up in.

My Children

This blog is intended to record what is sorrowful, but also what is sweet, and in this landscape I must talk about my grown children. They are really quite remarkable, sometimes sweet, sometimes not, but always people I admire.

I begin with Craig, my eldest, almost forty. I love standing at the sidelines and watching how he is with his wife and children; in particular, in those moments he thinks I am not looking. I love the way he hugs and kisses spontaneously. Though he rarely calls (he is not a phone person), when he does call it is often to talk--and really talk. When I get glimpses into his open heart, I marvel at what's inside. Most importantly, he is such a hard worker, and provides diligently for his family. I am proud of him at work. The best part is the partner he has selected. We love Amanda as our own, and she is such a terrific yin to his yang. She is an amazing Mama, a terrific person, and she grounds him in remarkable ways.

And now to our Samantha, a new mother, a marvel. She, too, is a hard worker, and loving to a fault to those she loves. She is a passionate do-gooder, and this translates into a job where she is helping those in need. She has easy access to her feelings, and this is the way she consistently relates to those around her. She loves her family-- all of us--the way Craig does, too. Josh, her husband, is also a wonderful partner; they complement one another. They are both wonderful parents.

My children have been launched in positive ways, so they really don't need me that much--which is great. But, if Ira or I needed them, they would be there with open arms, as would their partners. And that is as good as it gets!

A Divided America

 Clearly, this country is so divided that East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet. I am quite certain if politics were left out of the conversation, we could chat amicably about our lives and the things we love. My husband plays cards in an atomosphere where half of the people voted one way, and the other half another way. The night is just about the card game, nothing more, and they can kibbutz and have fun. However, this division sometimes comes into play-rarely, only when someone dares to bring up a wild conspiracy theory that the 2020 election was stolen and the response is, "No it was not." Then everything stops.

This is what I know about the other side. Some voted because they like disruption; they don't want conventional political leaders. It does not matter that he has selected cabinet officers with little to no experience; hence, they don't trust government, and some of this is true. They also say that prices have gone up--they have, not realizing in recent months not only have prices gone down, but the economy is doing way better in terms of jobs filled, gas prices lowered and a stock market boom. But they don't watch the same news that I do. They watch Fox, deemed, worldwide, entertainment, not news; plus, they have been sued millions for all the alternate facts they have created. Alternate facts don't bother the other side, so they tune into social media to get their news. Elon Musk invested millions to feed the Trump campaign and did so strategically; feeding the two sides of the Israeli conflict different information, so each side would feel placated. He fed into the image of a "Woke" other side, depite the fact that Kamala's campaign did not dwell on some of these issues. This created an empire who felt the fabric of their communities was being destroyed--the books their children read; gender idenity; immigrants who were all taking over their jobs, forgetting we are all immigrants. Women (53 per cent of White women) fell into the trap,"Women, I will protect you." It did not matter that his running mate was so clueless as to suggest all grandma(s) could care for their grandchildren; women without children were "childless cat ladies." It did not matter that Trump is an alleged serial sex offender. It did not matter that he insulted women based on their looks. It did not matter that he said Hatian immigrants were "eating the dogs and cats." Nothing mattered but the macho and bluster he presented, but people liked the performance. It worked. He won over people in this election. It became a them and us in their world view.

There was no them and us on the other side. We are all a nation of immigrants, human beings, and ones who want to work across the political divide. The other side read newspapers and followed stations such as CNN, which reported news, which meant mostly facts. This side created a campaign that we are all Americans and we need to curb our guns, we need to aim for truth, we need to believe in science, people who stormed the capital were not patriots, women need to have their reproductive rights, health and safety need to be safeguarded, children need CHIPS and school lunches to eat, and you can't do away with a DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION because if each state does what it wants, all that red in the middle will be using the bible as a text, won't use texts that have even an iota of FACTS in them, will ban books in the classroom, won't allow the very diverse voices of America, including religious freedom (no, we are not just White, Christian Americans), won't allow marriages of Gay people, nor will it allow them to adopt the surplus of babies now that abortion will mostly be illegal. Also, social security and medicare are not entitlements; I paid into them my whole life. "We are not going backwards," was the mantra of the campaign on this political side.

But indeed we are going backwards; pity the children and grandchildren of the next generation, one where the military is coming to take migrant children away from their parents, even those who have lived here their whole life. They voted in a man without morals, scruples or character, and if they are poor and suffering, if they are women,  if their health insurance is taken away, he has nothing on his agenda that will help them. This divide will grow and like Jesus said, "forgive them father, for they know not what they have done." If the humanity and decency gap grows larger, which it already has during this campaign, I am not so sure I will forgive them; it might be too hard. He consistently showed what he was about--a charlatan, at best--and more. And they voted for him anyway.

No Man is an Island

      "Can you be happy when you see the horror unleashed on other people?" my friend asked me the other day.

        "Of course not!"

        "So what do we do?"

        "I don't know."

        I wish there was an answer. During these times, I think a great deal about my emotional well-being as we forge ahead to the new adminstration in 2025. It does not look good, just based on cabinet choices and alleged policy decisions he has made so far. Mike Johnson may say, "the popular vote indicates the people wanted to shake things up." Did they? Wait! When they lose some precious rights, what will they say then? And what about a basic moral code? How can one think of himself or herself as a moral person when the "other" is brought down--Trump's campaign mantra. "I am searching out the enemy within."

        I return to John Donne's poem,  "No Man Is an Island.":

                        No man is an island,

                        Entire of itself;

                        Every man is a piece of a continent,

                        A part of the main.

                        If a clod be washed away by the sea,

                        Europe is the less,

                        As well as if a promontory were:

                        As well as if a manor of thy friend's

                        Or of thine own were.

                        Any man's death diminshes me,

                        Because I am involved in mankind.

                        And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls

                        It tolls for thee."

       I know we have a broken immigration system. I know the world is filled with dissenters. But to imprison your enemies, deport millions of decent people, separate families is no solution. To be crass and crude in your humanity is among the worst sins. I remember proudly singing in elementary school a version of Donne's poem, "No man is an island/no man stands alone./Each man's joy is joy to me/each man's grief is my own./We need one another/so I will defend/each man as my brother/each man as my friend."

Yes, indeed, I will find a way out of the despair in the inhumanity that awaits, and I will defend, whatever way I can, my brothers and my friends, since this is what is means to be humane and decent. Isn't this what we all learned we should do early on?  THE BELL TOLLS FOR THEE--just remember!

    

Conclave, the movie

 In my desire to depart from politics, I am going to recommend a MUST SEE movie.The film's focus is on the papacy and the need to find a new pope after the demise of the current one, who apparently was a good, even great one. He had an extraordinary amount of  humanity, and was not trapped by the pettiness and politics of the papacy; in fact, quite the opposite. He was open to the changes in society, and moved forward "outside the box:" without corruption. In other words, he was decent and moral.

With an amazing cast, including Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow and Isabella Rossellini, it expores the undercurrent of politics in the papacy, including the fact that there is a right and left wing in the selection of the newest pope. Cardinal Thomas Lawrence (Fiennes), investigates the secrets and scandals of each candidate, as the college of cardinals gather in seclusion for a papal conclave to choose a new cardinal.

Did I say this was not political? I suppose I am wrong, since in exposing the treachery and lies of religious figures, what is startling is a real similarity in the way politics and religion are marriage partners  in distorting truths and the norms of decency. I don't want to give away what happens, but suffice it to say I weeped at the end, perhaps in a good way, but I can't share--or you won't bother seeing this wonderful movie, one with strong convictions.

Dear Kamala and Tim

 Now that the Democratic party has lost everything, I want to write a letter to you to let you know what a terrific campaign you ran in just a few months. It never, for a second, relied on insults and derision. You did point out truths about the other candidate, but they were undeniable. He said what he said that was dark, ugly and dishonest, but clearly it meant nothing to so many people.  At your rallies, people cheered with joy and happiness; I was one of them, cheering as I watched on television. You shouted, "We are not going back," a wonderful mantra, which I and half the country had hoped for. You gave new meaning to the flag; you made me feel patriotic. It was not your fault that the messaging of Joe Biden's adminstration was not loud enough. In fact, he did more for working people, and at the end of the day has done so much for the country. It was a challenge to separate yourself as an individual from a president you admired, as did many of us. Yes, he should have resigned earlier; this would have given us an open convention and maybe you would have been the candidate anyway, Kamala, but perhaps people would have felt it was a fairer process. But that didn't happen, so you had three months to define yourself-- clearly not enough time. But in that short time, you and Coach Walz filled the hearts of so many people with a vision of a brighter future where we were all working together. There are so many reasons the strong man won, least of all wonderful qualifications. I know race and gender was one of them. It is sad in 2024 that these things matter at all, but this is America. They can now have their guns and their derision and whatever else they think they can get. Billionaires and millionaires can now get taxed at a lower rate. The ACA may go, and there is only a concept of a plan to replace it. Already his potential cabinet is filled with wholly unqualified people. For my personal sanity, I will cherish the memory of a different world, and only look ahead to 2026 to have decency return to the political landscape. This is no fault of yours, Kamala and Tim; you did a wonderful job. I wish people had awakened to the possibility of a brighter tomorrow instead of what the future holds in store for us, and it is not good!

My daughter, son-in-law and baby on the campaign trail for the two of you!

More on Joy

 In Margaret Renkl's wonderful editorial in the November 13th NYT she states," there is no cure for grief, but beauty and tenderness can walk alongside it." This really struck a chord last night when we discussed, at dinner before the theater, what do we do about all this grief as we catch the government flip over on  its axis? My friend's husband, whom we adore, even went so far as to say," I don't want to talk about politics." I get that. We are all in our "golden years" and the erosion of all our norms is terrifying. Many of us, me among them, are talking about politics too much.It is easy to say, this will not effect me, but it does and it will. How do you remain "happy" when people you know, some of whom are model citizens, are taken out of this country? Why do you think you are safe in your financial cocoon, when, perhaps, your medicare may be taken away and a non-scientist holds the cabinet position of health and human services, and one who is  ill-equipped to handle the next possible pandemic or oversee the numerous agencies under his jurisdiction.

I think the response is, you don't deny the grief, nor do you dwell on it 24/7, as I know I have done. There are no easy answers, nor is there the "proper" way to grieve--tears, anger, militant actions, denialism. Renkl says there is no cure, but to not allow the "braying winners to turn us into impotent shadows with stones forever lodged in our throats would be to let them win even more surely than they won at the ballot box last week."

What she says is we need to tap into joy, whatever that may be; we need to give ourselves a respite. I spent weekend last week with two of our grandchildren, going to the Museum of Natural History with our grandson and the theater with our grandaughter. They are warm and funny and filled me and my husband with great pleasure. I taught a pre-k class of poetry in my cousin's class, and the children were so charming and deligthful that I felt the sheer pleasure of the experience.  Our youngest grandson is starting to gaze at the world with his beautiful open eyes.

Renkl goes on to tell us that "For me, there will be more watchful stillness. More walks in the woods to watch the still heron standing one-legged in the shallows; to watch the still deer; waiting to see that I do them no harm; to linger in the stillness of the lake itself, a perfect mirror giving back to the sky." What Renkl wants, which is what I supopose we all want, "is to remind myself again and again not to wait for the world to give me a reason to sigh with relief. I will give myself respite. I will remember not to keep waiting for sweetness and rest to arrive on their own."

As my friend said last night, "How do I keep myself --all of us--from calcifying during this time of grief and the stress that goes with it?" I suppose we allow all the feelings to invade us at once. We hug the family and friends we love, and take in the JOY and SWEETNESS of having them in our lives to hug. This is surely not a solution, but it does offer a small moment of grace, which in itself is something. Beauty, tenderness and grief can all live inside of us, as well as the blessings we have in one another.

Dismantle, Destroy and Joy

 When I woke up this morning to the news that RFK Jr. was to be given the position as the head of health and human services, I exclaimed, in disbelief.

        "Seriously??"

        "Did you really expect him to nominate anyone good to his cabinet? He thrives on chaos," said my husband. He added, as a physician, he is personally offended to have a man who disbelieves in science to be at the helm of this agency

        "Not really, but I DID expect some level of thoughfulness. At least an iota."

This week has brought such insanity to the selection of people to head up important, federal agencies. It is probably the most unqualified group of individuals to be in a presidential cabinet in history, with the likes of Matt Gaetz as the head of the Justice Department; Pete Hegseth, a former Fox News Host, as the Defense Secretary; Tulsi Gabbard, famed Putin-lover for Director of National Intelligence; and the likes of Elon Musk; Vivek Ramaswamy; the list of Trump-cronies who will be loyal to him is astounding. What is terrifying is their lack of skill and their inability to do their jobs effectively puts our country at great risk.

            "Maybe they won't be confirmed," I sighed.

            "Ha," my husband laughed. "Teflon Don gets everything he wants. They are kow-towing to him for fear of excommunication. He said on the campaign trail he would punish his enemies, so they will confirm during recesses and avoid consent and approval by the senate. He is now the king. He makes the law."

        "But it does not make sense. This will destroy the government."

        "Exactly. "Dismantle and destroy the administrative state as he outlined repeatedly during his campaign."

        "For what purpose?"

        " To demonstrate he is the ONE in power, and all government is all but irrelevant --aside from him."

            "So many people will suffer."

            "And maybe," he said, "this will give pause when they think of the man they voted in."

DISMANTLE AND DESTROY.  He is right. But how do I and others like me make it through the next few years as I watch a government caricature of a real government? How do I keep my faith? How do I support my good friends and loved ones who feel as I do, somewhat hopeless? And who are the people who understood what he was and voted for him anyway? I am so disappointed in this electorate, this country.

My husband says we will fight when we are able to, and find joy where and when we can, in those small moments of grace. I have already zoomed in on my friends and family, like-minded people, already befuddled and searching how to make sense of this election. I don't want him taking up the same space he did since 2016, when each crime he committed seemed like he would surely be nailed, and the coffin would be shut. Now, I know he can walk away freely from anything and for whatever insane reason, people vote for him and love his blatant disregard of norms. The nastier he is, the more they cheer. For Vance, too, who during his campaign week dared to call Kamala "garbage."

To exorcise Donald Trump from my head space, I will focus on my children, my grandchildren, my friends.  But I will also do the things I love, which give meaning to my life. Just this morning I taught poetry to a class of three- and four-year-olds in my cousin Jackie's class. I had two City College poetry mentors shadow me, Miguel and Mateo (Frida), both of whom energized the room. I asked Miguel to pretend to be a dog, while I read dog poems. The children were so excited to write a group poem. It filled me with joy. It also reminded me, I can try harder to find the positive anchors in my life, which give me happiness and meaning--and I will.

JOY I will create, and when the time is ripe, for the sake of our future generations of lovely, smiling children, I will FIGHT to bring back the kind of world these childen and all our children and grandchildren deserve.

        

            

Anti-Semitism

 Just the other day, a theatrical version of Anne Frank was performed in Michigan. Outside of the theater, a group of people were waving Nazi flags--and no one took them down. This has now become a norm in America, and around the world. People have taken to painting Jewish stars on people's homes in France. In Amsterdam a bunch of people terrorized Israeli soccer fans in droves. As Brent Stephens says in his editorial on 11/13, "It wasn't merely just overflowing anger over the war in Gaza. It was something altogether darker." On a popular app, people were using the term "Jew hunt." In an Oslo station it read, "Hitler started it. We will finish it."

For anyone who has family who perished in the Holocaust, to anyone who was raised with the good values of tikkin olam--actions intended to improve the world-- (which is why I know all but the right wing Jews voted for Kamala, since they  are into repairing the world, not destroying it); to anyone who has reached out to humanity at large, many Jewish people--like myself--were raised with integrity, to a revulsion for what is ugly and vile; hence, read between the lines: Trump used awful antisemitic tropes in his speeches. So, as Stephens says," they are like generations of programists before them--out to get the Jews. Antisemitism in Europe has "now reached the point where the future of many of its Jewish communities is seriously in doubt. They want countries "free of Jews." Isn't that what White Nationalism is partly about? "Jews will not replace us," was chanted on the streets of Charlottesville, Virginia in 2017--during Trump's first presidency. And his response,"There were good people on both sides."

No. This is not a situation of duality. Antisemitism is never good. I ordinarily do not agree with Stephens, who I sometimes find too conservative, but now there is a warning if we don't pay attention as Americans. "If we stay on this path, the Jew hunt of Amsterdam may be upon us, too, and sonner than we think." Sadly, it already is.

The Ocean

 I walk along the beach; its sands are endless white and go on for miles.  I love the ocean, any ocean. I am at Lido Beach; Aruba; Turks and Caicos; Greece, Split. Everywhere I travel, there are oceans, and I am always drawn to endless stretches of sand and aqua waters. I am no longer the beach swimmer I once was, but I still love the feeling of its water swiming over my feet. It is here, at the beach-any beach, but particulalry off-season, when I find the most serenity. I love to swim, too, and when I am in the pool (not the ocean), I can swim endlessly, which I do over the summer. It is the quintessential meaning of peace.

It is here I offer my prayer. They say sea and animal life is in danger because of water pollution. It is also said that we are in danger, particularly in coastal communities, of terribly dangerous storms which could destroy many inhabitants and their environs. We have seen these natural  disasters wreak havoc on Florida and North Carolina. Please save our planet from the destruction of global warming. I know the head of the EPA in the new administration will most likely adhere to the political ideology of no global warming, even in the face of clear indications otherwise. But it is science, science is real and you can't diminish the power of air and water pollution, storms which have destroyed communities.

Please protect our oceans, our sea and animal life, the land we live on. You need to save the earth we live on. This is not about politics. It is, instead, about love. Without love of your people and this planet, what is--at the end of the day--left to save?

Amen!

GOD and Jesus and PRAYER

 As far as I know, there is separation of Church and State. Recently, there is a movement across our country to do away with this. Now that 2025 will bring about a new administration, I fear this separation will be eroded and people with other religious denominations will be forced to pray to one God. Not only that, I am afraid that White Christian Nationalism has already solidified their priorities, so that one bible (The Trump bible, still for sale) and the ten commandments will be daily discourse in our public schools. This is already happening. And these same people-a fairly large electorate, has declared Donald Trump the new Jesus Christ. They pray to him, they prayed he would win this election, they threatened violence in case he did not win, but alas, their prayers were answered.

Let's be clear. This brave new world stands in sharp contrast to Jesus Christ. Want to start with the ten commandments? Donald Trump has broken every single one of these, and his only religion is OF THE SELF. If Jesus is extolled as kind, compassionate, humane, and cares for the poor, sick and hungry, the sheer hypocrisy of this is unbelievable. Let's be clear: you are praying for millions to be deported, jailing of enemies, separation of children from their parents, doing away with supports for women with children; doing away with care for a woman bleeding out from a miscarriage. The poor, the sick, the hungry? My God, he wants to do away with the ACA.  What will you do when your health care is gone?

So please, spare me your prayers and evocation of God; this will be the most uncompassionate adminstration in recent history. It is the furthest thing from care and compassion. A true believer could never say this is a kind, Christian administration that will soon be in office; it is the opposite. A discussion of God and Christianity has no place in a discussion of the terrible deeds about to be unleashed. By the way, there was a Maga-rally(why, they won?) with the red hats and incorrigible signs: get out of our country. They hurled insults against people strolling through Bryant Park on a beautiful day. What would Jesus say???

And let's get real. There are many religions in this country. Pray to whomever you want. Meanwhile, please, please don't talk to me about God and Jesus and kind, compassionate Christianity if he achieves even a fraction of what his policy goals are. This is where autocracy begins and Democracy ends. Spare me the hypocricy when you are talking about such blatant disregard of humanity. If there is a God, my guess is he or she is weeping at this world.

Women and Men

I got on the elevator yesterday morning with a family I know had voted for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. They were with their two younger daughters. They were angry, more so at a country who could vote in a man who is "a terrible example for my young girls." He proceeded to share his feelings about this election, a conversation that went beyond thirty-six floors.

"As a father of two young girls, I want them to look up to our country at a president who represents dignity, integrity and respect. As a Dad who truly respects women, they should know that men think of them as equals, as young women who can do and be anything, not just in the kitchen at home, minding the children. If they select not to do that, and not have children, they are not 'childless cat women.' Men who respect their mothers, wives, daughters, nieces, could never vote for a man who assaulted and insults women, perversely rates them based upon their appearance, uses profanities on stage (as he will in meetings and with his staff; he has already done so) and says he will protect women whether they like it or not, though women are strong enough to protect themselves. This is so condescending.

You want to talk policy? What is his policy aside from deporting millions of immigrants; taxing millionaires and billionaires at a lower rate; tariffs to possibly increase the deficit; withdrawing aid from Ukraine; doing away with the affordable care act; taking away women's reproductive rights. More women who have obstectrical issues, miscarriages, for example, will die while not being treated. This is a man who cares nothing for the needs of poeple who are suffering on the grorcery lines. I know people like that in the midwest--family--all of whom recently started doing better and still voted for Trump. He is a charalatan, a liar, a convicted felon--everything I don't want my daughters to be. I would never allow this man ten feet near my girls when they grow up. Only a weak, insecure man who needs to prove he is 'macho' would vote for him. If he were a man of color, he would already be behind bars. He couldn't even vote, let alone be president. These men were SCARED of a strong, intelligent woman of color."

His wife chimed in, "What about families with sons? Wouldn't they want a president who is stong, while vulnerable, does the right thing for the public good, is humane and doesn't talk with a sewer mouth? Don't they want their boys to know how to treat people, without the bully pulpit? Don't crimes matter, crimes like lying, causing an insurrection and calling poeple who smashed windows, defecated on the floor and screamed to 'kill Mike Pence' in the capital? What about women, yes; is it okay for your boys to speak and act this way? Is this the model you want for your sons or daughters? As a mother, I am feeling constant, chronic grief, and can't figure out how any self-respecting woman could vote for him. He put you down, women, as did his vice president. Where is your pride in who you are as a female?"

The conversation ended in the lobby of the building. It ended with a hug and the final comment from the five year old, "He is a mean and ugly man."

Words and Deeds

There was a university professor who once shredded the norms of decency. He had poor impulse control, and often exhibited signs of abnormal hostility, particularly toward students. Sometimes this included verbal assaults; other times it was physical, especially with women. He had no problem calling students stupid; telling them they had low IQ(s); this was often done with a sneering facial expression. He punished students who were not loyal (who said they were going to report this behavior) with bad grades.  A few fearless students reported him, and within months, he was fired, and this record of behavior was recorded permanently. I assume he never got another job again, nor did he deserve one.

I once reported a student to academic probation because she plagiarized, not once, but three times. She got expelled, and I felt this was justified; I never tolerated lying in the classroom (her denial).

My husband, who worked as a vice chairman in the department of medicine at a hospital, shared a story about a physician who was a womanizer on the job. This same doctor came onto me at a hospital celebration, and when I said, "Do you know who I am?" he said, "I don't care." I walked away. This behavior, which also had preceded his time at the hospital, was reported in a local newspaper, and he was subsequently terminated.

Words and deeds matter. We have watched the downfall of media personalities because of their terrible words and deeds. There is  no way a CEO of a company would be allowed to stay at his or her job if that person verbally or physically assaulted a fellow worker--or many workers. Nor would a convicted felon be hired for any job whatsoever.

Yet, America, has elected a president (over 51% of the country) whose words and deeds would not be tolerated even in the lowest paying job. As a convicted felon, he was allowed to vote. Ordinary citizens have been thrown off of the voting roll for way less. He has committed crimes which will now be irrelevant, including retaining top secret documents which were required to be returned and being the bullhorn behind an insurrection. He has sexually abused women, and denigrated people of color, migrants, politicians, with a litany of disgusting words, even profanities. No company would EVER hire him, but now he will be our president. This public behavior is unacceptable in a civilized society, but I would think calling the qualified woman running against him stupid and ugly should not be tolerated--nor should he be.

Over the past few months we have witnessed the parameters of what is acceptable be destroyed. The WORDS of this man and his running mate (who called Kamala garbage) are so beyond the norms of decency, and such ugliness has transformed an electorate who now also find it acceptable to join in with verbal and physical indecency. He continues to threaten his opponents with jail time.

Yet over half the country voted for him, so this goes beyond the price of groceries and gas, which--by the way--is getting lower. This is about character. Our values demand we be moral and decent people. Is it moral to vote because you are a millionaire and want to be taxed at a lower level? It is not dollars and cents that propelled so many voters to cast the ballot for him.

Then what is it? I can not comprehend this America that selects a president whose words and deeds have proven immoral. What does it say about this country?

Shock, Dismay and Sorrow

The country knows Donald Trump, even more so than when he was president four years ago. They know he governed impulsively, cozied up to dictators, was a habitual liar, had no regard for the rule of law, broke the law, caused an insurrection, elected super-conservative supreme court justices who overturned Roe, and exacerbated a great divide in our country. To quote him I can stand on Fifth Avenue, "shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters."

Four years later, it has gotten worse--his ugly rhetoric, his barrage of insults, his blatant disregard for laws, his disregard for the norms of government, his misogyny, his racism and his hunger for vengeance. Every day for the past few months, he monopolized the television with promises to continue all this--and more. He is waiting to dismantle the government, so he can put lawless cronies (Steve 

Bannon, Roger Stone, Stephen Miller, Elon Musk) into office. My God, Robert Kennedy will have a position as the Head of Human Services, overseeing our public health and well being. One of Kennedy's positions, aside from being an anti-vax person, is to take flouride out of water, the very element which protects our teeth against cavities. Forget it if there should be another pandemic. He could not wait (he and his lethal running mate, J.D.Vance) to jail his enemies. Believe him; he will. All the cases now offered in a court of law will go away, and he will release the January 6th prisoners who broke into the capital. Women, people of color, people with disabilities are insignifcant in the eyes of the new government. He is old, probably demented, and what is left is truly ugly.

YOU all knew this, you meaning over half the country; you knew this at a time when our country was beginning to gain back some off its lost esteeem and when our economy was among the best in the world, getting better daily. Accordingly, my biggest disappointment is the America I once knew is now gone. Were you that scared to have a woman of color in office? Over half the country voted for him, including in most swing states. These are the same people who would punish their children for being a bully, yet they voted for one, and for someone who has no moral compass, no integrity, no decency, and will make the world an awful place for generations to come. He will do nothing to avert climate change. He will make the rich, richer; the poor, poorer. He doesn't care about you, but who are YOU--so many people, who could vote for a would-be-dictator who has no problem deporting ten million immigrants, might cut social secuirty and medicare and cares nothing for the well-being of our planet. 

I am shocked and deeply sad that there are so many people in this country who have signed on for this, who now are extremists, maga people. I can't imagine a regular Republican (is there one?) would find Maga acceptable, but clearly I am wrong, so all I can say is I am disappointed in the American people who find this behavior acceptable. YOU carry the burden of lethal possibilities into our future, so all I can say is I don't know or understand this world. As an idealist whose heart is now broken, I can't comprehend  how YOU can look your children in the eye when the world spirals, and say this is  anything but indecent. The enemy is within, but not just in him, but now it's on your shoulders, too. I join my idealistic friends and family, all of whom are now weeping for the new world, one I do not know--nor do I ever, ever wish to know-- to mourn with me, the death of a dream of possibilities.